Prošli tjedan pričali smo o prve tri knjige na ovoj listi:
When Breath Becomes Air od Paula Kalanithija, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People od Stephena Coveya i Sapiens od Yuval Hararija.
A danas nastavljamo dalje:
THE TRUTH: AN UNCOMFORTABLE BOOK ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS – NEIL STRAUSS
Jedna od najboljih knjiga ikad napisana o ljubavnim vezama i svim njihovim disfunkcijama. Lik prolazi kroz sve stvari da ti ne bi morao, a kroz proces kojim ga pratimo, saznajemo toliko toga o sebi što nam pomaže da imamo zdrave i funkcionalne veze.
- And so I faced a decision: How far would I go to protect my parents? Is it better to betray the people responsible for my existence or to betray that existence itself? It is a decision that everyone, at some point in life, must make. Most make the wrong one
- Guilt is about breaking the rules. Shame is about being broken.
- The sins of the parents are the destinies of their children. Unless the children wake up and do something about it.
- Instead of glimpsing anonymous individuals hurrying by, I see different archetypal products of bad parenting. That meek old man with the blank stare was probably beaten senseless by his father; the sad-looking obese guy in an undersized T-shirt may have grown up with a mom who expressed love only through her cooking; the uptight businessman was likely raised by strict parents who never allowed him to be imperfect. Suddenly there seem to be very few adults in the world, just suffering children and overcompensating adolescents.
- I need to end this conversation. She may think she’s telling me how much she loves me, but what I’m hearing is that by not calling her on Sundays, I’m slowly killing her. One of the biggest indicators of enmeshment, according to Lorraine, is when a mother tells her children that she lives only for them.
- The shadow he’s been repressing has broken loose. And I can relate: So has mine. But as any good Jungian therapist will tell you, you’re not supposed to repress the shadow in the first place. That’s when bad things happen. The goal is to integrate it. And I hope that’s the path we’re both ultimately on.
- Whatever we are looking for, we will find—if it doesn’t find us first. However, the result will not be what we’re consciously looking for, but what we’re unconsciously seeking. And so what we want will never be anything like what we expect. It is the forager’s law: You can find the berry bush, but you can’t control its yield.
THE OBSTACLE IS THE WAY – RYAN HOLIDAY
Kako živjeti u današnjem svijetu kroz oči rimskih stoika. Genijalna knjiga koja mi je pomogla suočiti se s realnošću oko sebe i naći način kako da pobijedim istu, a ne padnem u očaj.
- The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.
- We’re soft, entitled, and scared of conflict. Great times are great softeners. Abundance can be its own obstacle, as many people can attest.
- The observing eye sees events, clear of distractions, exaggerations, and misperceptions. The perceiving eye sees “insurmountable obstacles” or “major setbacks” or even just “issues.” It brings its own issues to the fight. The former is helpful, the latter is not.
- In fact, half the companies in the Fortune 500 were started during a bear market or recession. Half.
- Problems are rarely as bad as we think—or rather, they are precisely as bad as we think. It’s a huge step forward to realize that the worst thing to happen is never the event, but the event and losing your head.
- It’s time you understand that the world is telling you something with each and every failure and action. It’s feedback—giving you precise instructions on how to improve, it’s trying to wake you up from your cluelessness. It’s trying to teach you something. Listen. Lessons come hard only if you’re deaf to them. Don’t be.
- “Don’t think about winning the SEC Championship. Don’t think about the national championship. Think about what you needed to do in this drill, on this play, in this moment. That’s the process: Let’s think about what we can do today, the task at hand.”
NEVER SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE – CHRIS VOSS
Kažu da je kompromis najbolje rješenje. Ali kako napraviti kompromis kada pregovaraš s otmičarima? Ruke meni, noge tebi? Ne. Chris Voss je kao FBI pregovaratelj naučio dobiti sve u pregovorima, a kroz ovu genijalnu knjigu nam pokazuje kako i mi možemo dobiti sve u pregovorima.
- Our tools had to work, because if they didn’t someone died.
- What were needed were simple psychological tactics and strategies that worked in the field to calm people down, establish rapport, gain trust, elicit the verbalization of needs, and persuade the other guy of our empathy. We needed something easy to teach, easy to learn, and easy to execute.
- A successful hostage negotiator has to get everything he asks for, without giving anything back of substance, and do so in a way that leaves the adversaries feeling as if they have a great relationship. His work is emotional intelligence on steroids.
- I tell my students that empathy is “the ability to recognize the perspective of a counterpart, and the vocalization of that recognition.” That’s an academic way of saying that empathy is paying attention to another human being, asking what they are feeling, and making a commitment to understanding their world.
- Negotiate in their world. Persuasion is not about how bright or smooth or forceful you are. It’s about the other party convincing themselves that the solution you want is their own idea. So don’t beat them with logic or brute force. Ask them questions that open paths to your goals. It’s not about you.
- Consider this: Whenever someone is bothering you, and they just won’t let up, and they won’t listen to anything you have to say, what do you tell them to get them to shut up and go away? “You’re right.” It works every time. Tell people “you’re right” and they get a happy smile on their face and leave you alone for at least twenty-four hours. But you haven’t agreed to their position. You have used “you’re right” to get them to quit bothering you.
A idući tjedan idemo u citate ove tri knjige:
THE LESSONS OF HISTORY – WILL & ARIEL DURANT
ENDURANCE: SHACKLETON’S INCREDIBLE VOYAGE – ALFRED LANSING
THE 48 LAWS OF POWER – ROBERT GREENE